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Channel: Barry Duke – Euro Weekly News Spain
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Think of the poor birds

I MUST confess I’d never heard of Edward Colston until I saw footage of his statue going headfirst into the River Avon in Bristol on June 7. My immediate reaction was ‘good riddance’ but after a...

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Black and blue

THE shriek my mother emitted when she saw her blue-in-the-face darling dangling upside down and being thwacked on the back by a huge black handset all the china in the house rattling. Filled with fury...

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Bring back safe cigs 

FORMER neighbour Gertrude – well into her eighties and with a voice like a wood shredder due to a lifetime of heavy smoking – stunned me a few years back by asking ‘Where can I buy cigs that won’t...

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Making the best of a bad situation 

Photo: Barry Duke/YouTube  IN the 1975 song ‘Making the Best of a Bad Situation’ Ray Stevens sings about a woman who’s husband ‘came unwrapped’ and imagined he was a chicken.  The wife considered...

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My farton days are over…

‘EAT any more of those and you’ll start looking like one,’ said hubby Marcus as he watched me shell a boiled egg. I snapped ‘It’s precisely because I want to stop looking like Humpty Dumpty that I’m...

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Diary of a liberated hack 

This week, I decided to share my week’s routine with you again. Can you relate at all?! Monday: Wake up with aches in muscles and joints I didn’t know I had. Fifi shoots me a look that says ‘you’re not...

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Keep calm, dear, he’s only a drag queen 

DECADES ago a London gay bar staged Sunday afternoon tea dances that attracted a sizeable number of fellas in extravagant frocks who showed how waltzes and tangos and jives REALLY ought to be done....

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Carrots or crisps?

BACK in 1981, Thatcher’s Employment Secretary Norman Tebbit – every inch as abhorrent a creature as she was – responded to the then unemployment crisis by suggesting that people get on their bikes and...

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Expats, the Mother Country needs you!

I ANTICIPATED a robust reaction to a question I posted on Facebook last week, but I hadn’t bargained for the outpouring of derision and fury it provoked. This is what I posted on the Brexpats in Spain...

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Benidorm-bashing and Fake News

AT the beginning of August the UK’s Daily Express carried this clickbait headline: ‘Brits ‘scared to go out’ as local beach resorts turn into ‘Benidorm on steroids’. It was a report about large crowds...

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Proud to be a cultural Marxist

OVER the years I have been saddled with a variety of labels. In South Africa I got called a ‘kaffir boetie’ (the equivalent of n****r-lover). Also a ‘soutpiel’, an Afrikaans term for a British expat...

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Something’s rotten in the state of Poland

WHENEVER I meet up in Benidorm with my Polish friend Krzysztof the conversation turns to the latest lunacy emanating from his former homeland, fast becoming as much of a theocratic basket case as Iran...

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Suited and booted: those days are so over!

Suited and booted: those days are so over! LAST Saturday I posted a wedding picture on Facebook to celebrate the third anniversary of my marriage to Marcus, my companion of 23 years. One friend...

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Dawn of the Dumb: Galbani

It’s Galbani, you moron … G-A-L-B-A-N-I! There´s an excruciatingly funny UK blog called Ad Turds that pokes fun at really stupid commercials and invites submissions from people who are pushed by bad...

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A very fishy tale

TRY as I might, it’s an image I simply cannot get out of my head: a guy, in a blind panic, running out of the sea, pursued by ravenous fish snapping at him with very sharp teeth. I regret not being...

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